changing career

i met with my college friends last friday.. we eat at giligan's,window shopping coz its midnight madness sale at glorietta, slept over at eughie's place in binondo with suzette. still the same old peeps. nothing chnaged except we all seems to think more our future, our careers than simply passing a subject.

i can't help to be a bit jealous. they all seems to be happy with their work. they have a real career. they work in the bank, programming company, telecoms and suzette is still studying but atleast she is happy with her lovelife. again that triggered my desire to resign and look for a real job. im not saying that my job right now is not real, it's just that this is not the career that i really wanted. i don't se any career growth for me. im not saying that i'm not happy, coz i love my friends in CVG without them my life would be a living hell considering the stress and pressure in this work. but i really made up my mind. i just reviewed my cft score yesterday and man, i got another dissat. but honestly i don't care anymore and it's like i've been wishing for it to happen so i'll resign as soon as possible.i'll look for a job in june. i want to work in citibank with dianne and krystal 'coz it seems they have a really nice job. i'll also apply in other companies with ays and nadeen. if i can find a job in abroad much better.

*sigh* again im wishing that i'm just a child. not worrying about my future.

eughie, suzette and me had a heart-to heart talk about their love life... hhmmp. i can't relate 'coz i don't have one.*lol* eughie a former member of nbsb just recently had a jerk bf and the relationship didn't last for a month. suzette's long distance relationship is a comedy. imagine mike lives in new jersey and they only met once and their relationship lasted for a year. i just hope they'll have a happy ending.

we're just talking 'til 3am in the morning. basically interpreting how that jerk moves and his motives. i just learn one thing. i can easily read eughie's moves 'coz if i place my self in her situation, it's the same response/reaction that that i will do. maybe that's how nbsb members reacts. hahaha...

just a though to ponder * what would u regret more, doing an action then later on regret doing that action OR, not doing anything at all?

realization

i'm making myself miserable thinking of the "what ifs" in my life. i tried, hopelessly waiting for a sign or any news about u. reminiscing . but i guesss im just fooling myself ' coz deep inside i know it will never happen. im just making it hard for my self.

i can't forget, coz i have nothing to forget. all of these are just creations of my mind.

i realized one thing i've never been inlove. im just inlove withe the idea of being in love.

someday i'll let u know....

miss the old u

i miss my old self... i want to see my college and high school friends... i want to act without inhibitions, no restrictions... just like my old self... i miss trisha, mis4b, jamie, julie, eileen, rosie, anna, ayas, gio, theny, bev. mr.lim, wave2. my old mamie at work

im just waiting for a piece of paper to be sign to change my so called career... if i receive that paper, the next day i'll pass my resignation letter... what's the point of staying when you know that their rules and policies are all bull crap... everything is based on customers survey... CRAP!!! ... it's useless to argue, you'll simply waste you time and effort... save your thought, should i say saliva, on more important concerns.... the only reason why i'm still working with this account is because of my friends and of course the obvious reason, my salary ... which is something that always makes me happy every 15th and 30th day of the month...

im still uncertain what will happen next month, everything will be based on that paper.. my CAP2... maybe i'll just take a month break and study web design.. nadeen wants us to start a web design company which is actually nice... i also want to work in NGO, im just waiting for ays... i've always wanted to help people (something that i haven;t shared w/ anyone)... or maybe while taking a month break i'll work on that business chuva with papa bear and ays... *sigh*.... im also planning on working with smart but then i realized that it's just a 3 month work... i'll rather take a break first....

i just want to let it out... this is my (coward) way of telling u coz i know u will not be able to read this...

u think we're taking you for granted but we don't
maybe u think we changed but we don't, it is u who changed

u no longer show u care. u care more about other people.
u're throwing it on our faces, showing that u care for them that u care for us.
we're not kids anymore. we know how to read between the lines.
action speaks louder than words.
if u prefer their company, just tell us.
we are mature enough to handle this.
u interpret every single things as if it is an act against u.
u make simple mistake into a controversy.
u tell other tell people our mistakes when it is only proper to talk to us first.
our gap is growing. this is not good.

u started all of this. eversince he left, u changed.
if u think we did not notice, we did.
it's plain obvious for everyone to see.
im not blaming u. im just pointing out sides that u failed to see.
the gap widen when u decided to leave for another company.
u decided to stay giving us ur reasons.
but please don't blame us if u think u made the wrong decision.
we did not stopped u because we know taking that position will be a great opportnity for u.
we did not stop u not because of anything else but because it is for ur own good.
it does not mean that we care less about u, its the other way around.

if this will help u understand:
we are not the sensitive type of persons. what u see is what u get.

im trying to understand u but also please try to understand us.

i still have lots of thing to say here but i decided not to.

i just want to say....i miss the old u.


if i leave i'll just save the memories of the old u.